And now it came to pass in the commencement of the two thousandth and ninth year in reign of the judges over the land that the boy child was waxing old in years and large in stature. And in those days I, April was sore afraid that my womb would nevermore bear seed. And I pleaded daily with the Lord that I might add to my posterity.
2 But behold the Lord God, in his wisdom, answered that the time was not neigh.
3 Great was my disappointment and I was exceedingly wroth insomuch that I was determined to understand the cause of this neglect. And I didst speak strong words to the Lord in supplication for reason for my tribulation. But my mind was a stupor and my heart was heavy laden.
4 And while I pondered and lamented my life, behold, the Lord appeared to me in a dream, coming to me as a llama.
5 And I was chasten for my ingratitude.
6 And my heart was softened.
And it came to pass that shortly after I humbled myself before the Lord that a messenger came bearing glad tidings.
2 And I was blessed with an iPhone with which I learned that my home would soon welcome a new babe, born of another woman's womb, but which was meant for me.
3 And this woman was fair in the sight of the Lord for her good works.
4 And the babe was brought forth and laid in my arms and angels sang hallelujah about me and I fell to my knees and asked the Lord for forgiveness for my faithlessness and iniquity.
5 And I gave thanks to the Lord all my days everafter.
After these things were past, the Lord planted a seed in my heart that I might share a message of hope to those of his children who weep day and night in unbelief that their righteous desires might be granted them.
2 And I, being a lazy and slothful servant of the Lord, stalled.
3 But thus saith the Lord, speak these things that I have shown thee that others might find faith.
4 And I knew what the Lord would have me do, but my cynicism was neigh at hand and I knew the hearts of the barren children of God, and I feared that they would stone me with nasty comments on my blog.
5 And this I did know because I had cast a stone or two in my unrighteousness.
6 And the Lord, knowing me to be a lazy and weak servant, presented me with opportunity to speak the things which he bade me speak.
7 So it was that after many promptings from the Lord that I began to feel ashamed of my unwillingness to serve.
8 And it is after that manner that I write these things and hope that thou wilts hear my message and that if it is to fall upon a heart of stone that it might bring hope and certitude.
(I've been known to pick the scriptures up every now and then. Shut up. It's true.
Judge not, that ye be judged.
I don't mean any sacrilege, I just think that each of us is writing our own story and when you learn something valuable, you ought to write it down. The prophets of old did it and their posterity is still learning from them. I think I should too. Infertility runs in the family.)
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.